The oil spill in the Gulf is now being called the worst oil spill in US history. BP, President Obama and Bobbie Jindal, the Governor of Louisiana struggle to find a way to cap the broken drill pipe which is releasing about 800,000 gallons of oil each day off the coast of Louisiana. Oil has started to run ashore in Louisiana, Alabama and soon Florida.
This unthinkable mess that killed 11 oil rig workers on April 20th, 2010 when the oil rig exploded and sank in ocean waters over a mile deep is now threatening the fishing industry in at least two states and the tourism industry in three states.
Governor Jindal blasted the Obama administration today for not moving quicker to issue Federal permits for containment plans. He said it took over three weeks for the administration to respond and then they only received about 25% of the permits they have requested. While thousands of workers are on the scene, every attempt thus far to cap the pipe has failed.
President Obama, in an attempt to look presidential and in charge, went to Louisiana last week and held a bloviated news conference with top military leaders and advisors including-- college professors. He embarrassed himself when he spoke about how his daughter asked “daddy when are you going to plug the hole?” He threatened BP with the cost of the cleanup and any other financial hardship caused by the catastrophe. And he concluded his rambling remarks with a promise to the American people that this disaster is top on his priority list and that he will use every resource available to him to plug the hole!
So far nothing has worked to plug the hole and he has now turned to Hollywood as he usually does when nothing else is working for him and has asked movie director James Cameron to help with a solution to capping the pipe. James Cameron couldn’t stop the Titanic from sinking (one of the most successful films he directed) but hopefully that experience has taught him more about oceanic disasters so that he can be one of Obama’s best resources.
I’m sure if Mr. Cameron’s ideas don’t work he’ll turn to other well-qualified sources such as comedian Jerry Seinfeld or perhaps famous singer-songwriter Sir Paul McCartney who both just appeared at the White House Wednesday June 2nd, 2010. Of course, they are among his top secret back-up plans invited to the White House under the cover of Sir McCartney receiving the nation’s highest musical award. Hopefully one of the three will be able to come up with the idea that will finally plug the hole!
Here are the facts:
• More than 17,000 National Guard troops from Gulf Coast States have been authorized to help with the spill
• Over 20,000 government, private and contract workers are on the scene
• About four million feet of containment and sorbent boom has been deployed to contain the spill and almost 14 million gallons of oily water has been recovered so far.
• There are over 120 controlled burns of oil on the water
• Over 1,900 ships are helping in the containment and clean up efforts
As you read these statistics you, like me, probably thought that this pipe must be massive. We know that it is about a mile deep and hard for conventional dives and equipment to reach. But with the difficulty and numerous attempts to cap the spewing pipe it must be the size of an oil tanker, right? Wrong! Would you believe that the pipe is only 6.625 inches in diameter? That is about the size of your average student calculator.
Now, I surely don’t claim to be an engineer or rocket scientist or oceanographer or college professor or even famous movie director, comedian, singer or any other specialist in hole plugging. But since this pipe opening is only about the size of a small waste paper basket, if I were Obama I would take my daughters advice and find something that would simply plug the leak instead of capping it.
And if I were Obama I would know just the thing—something that is thicker than two phone books, absorbent when wet, thoroughly useless, never known and surely would not be missed by the government or the American public. By using this item Obama would be the hero--the leak would be stopped and the country would even be saved from financial ruin.
Mr. Obama please, I beg of you cork the leak with the only thing sure to gum-up and plug the system, the new HR 4872, 2,087 page Health Care bill you and congress just shoved down our throats! I can promise you that about two thirds of the country will apalud as you "fill Barry fill!"
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